So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
this will be a night to untag.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Randomize
