If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
