Green mimosas i think yes
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
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antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
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He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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