Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(609): View more from New Jersey

Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.

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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.

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(206): View more from Washington

Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.

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(660): View more from Missouri

Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...

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(314): View more from Missouri

I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over

(314): View more from Missouri

you can't hurt those

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(401): View more from Rhode Island

You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game

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(650): View more from California

guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?

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(512): View more from Texas

Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.

(512): View more from Texas

I found Cheetos.

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(313): View more from Michigan

Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.

(248): View more from Michigan

Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.

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