my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
There's a naked man in my car right now.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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