Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Randomize
