so that wasnt chicken after all
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
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