i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Randomize
