it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
The power of my boobs compel you
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Randomize
