I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
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