come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
