Three words: puerto rican gang bang
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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