How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
