Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
