No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
