just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Randomize
