Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
oh god the rape fog is back!
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
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