The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
