my vag is so smooth its legendary
im having a threesome with these popsicles
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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