sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
Randomize
