Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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