just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
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