Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Randomize
