mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Randomize
