i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Randomize
