Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
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