Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
I'm at about main and main street
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
