I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
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