we have pet lesbian snakes
Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
