love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Randomize
