He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
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