Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
