vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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