Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
no, he came in my armpit
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
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