and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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