ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
True strength comes from lack of pants
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
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