Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Randomize
