Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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