i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
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