those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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