the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Randomize
