You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
Randomize
