I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
that is very illegal...i love you.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize
