are you still at the devil's house?
she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Randomize
