'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
