just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Randomize