Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
she smelled like a LAN party
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
