My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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