Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Randomize
