is your mom at the bar?
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
