Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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