Pants 0. Shit 1.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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