I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize