chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
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