I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Randomize