it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
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