I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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