U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Randomize
