Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things ππ
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