Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
