so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
she peed on how many people?
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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