so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize